Deep thoughts...with Emily....

PART ONE:
(Emily) Mom, I don't want to eat Turkey on Thanksgiving.
(ME) Why?
(Emily) Because he's a turkey made from paper and I had to make a disguise for him so that he would be safe.
(Me) Well, that was a craft for school babe that turkey was not real.
(Emily) I know, but the turkey we eat is a real bird and I don't want to kill him and eat his legs.
(Me) What do you think we should eat instead?
(Emily) Pancakes and ice cream!

PART TWO:
(Emily) Santa doesn't want us to know who he is because then everyone would ring his door bell right mom?
(Me) Yes, if people knew who he was and found out where he lived than I think people would be going to his house asking for gifts ALL YEAR!
(Emily) Well, I know who he is! I know him!! He is a pleasantly plump man with a big red coat with a white thing on top, big black boots and white whiskers! I know him mom!!

PART THREE:
(Me) Emily wash your hands before you come out of that bathroom please.
(Emily, walking out of the bathroom naked) I don't need to wash my hands, I didn't touch anything! I didn't wipe so my hands didn't touch my privets and I didn't even pee in the potty, I peed on the floor!

PART FOUR:
(Emily at lunch today) So you like to chew? How about chewing on my fist?
...this is from Kunfu Panda

PART FIVE:
(Emily whenever anything bad happens) Don't blame me....my hands are clean!